Vol. I · No. 1 Set in wood and printed while the house burns Price: one coffee

This Is Fine

The Burning Room Gazette ❦ A broadsheet about one dog
Condition of the dog This is fine.
Condition of the room warm
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Our woodcutter reports from inside the room

Dog in bowler hat says this is fine

Fire now at the chair legs. Coffee described as good.

Woodcut of a small dog in a bowler hat sipping coffee on a wooden chair while flames fill the room on both sides
Fig. 1. The dog at his coffee, cut from the block this morning. The flames were already there.

The fire started some time before breakfast. By the time our woodcutter arrived with his knife and a block of pear wood, it had taken the floorboards, both walls and the lower half of the chair. The dog had poured a second cup.

Asked whether he wished to leave, he said the coffee was not finished. Asked about the chair, he said it was a good chair. Asked about the smoke, he lifted his hat a little and put it back.

He then closed his eyes, which our reporter took as the end of the interview. The block was cut on the spot. Some of the orange on this page was put there by hand, and some of it is the room.

From the interview

Sir, the room is on fire.
Yes.
Your chair is burning.
It is warm.
Your hat is smoking.
It does that.
How do you feel?
This is fine.
Square woodcut portrait of the dog in his bowler hat, eyes closed, coffee raised, flames climbing the chair
Fig. 2. Portrait of our correspondent, who declined to sit anywhere else.

Weather

Indoors: very hot, flames moving from the floor upward, heavy smoke near the ceiling by afternoon.

Outdoors: the dog would rather not look.

Letters

To the editor. My neighbour has been waving at me from a burning window for an hour with a cup in his paw. Should I do something. A neighbour

He asked us to tell you it is fine. The editor